Love from loss

So it's been a little over a month since my mom committed suicide on Mother's Day and this is what I've learned: 

- get to know your parents. Ask them about how they fell in love, funny stories of their youth, anything. You never know when they will be gone and you'll wish you knew the person they were before becoming a parent. Trust me. 

- sometimes people do THEIR very best and quite often it's not THE best. Most people are trying their hardest to be happy and not hurt others along the way, but sometimes we make mistakes, HUGE mistakes. Love is not only forgiving the mistakes of the past, but also forgiving the mistakes that someone will inevitably make in the future. 

- no matter how bad things get and how hurt you are, there is always a way to forgive. Even when it seems impossible. 

- sometimes we don't know the value of a life, or of a relationship, until it's too late. And that's OK. 

-emotions are just signals. Fear is saying "watch out!" while anger is saying "I am hurt!". Guilt says "I'm so sorry" and shame says " I want to be better". Don't let the emotions consume you. Once they have done their job to alert you of a danger (real or imaginary) it's up to you to let them go. If you don't, they WILL consume you, even if you don't realize it. 

- We are infinite. Our capacity to love, and to forgive, is infinite. Our capacity to feel pain (emotional and physical) is infinite. You are stronger than you can fathom. 

- We will never be able to grasp the sorrow of another person. We can't understand the little intricate details and events that make others who they are. We cannot say that their mistakes are greater than ours because we cannot say that their pain is greater than ours. Even the people who kill and rape are worthy of forgiveness. No mistake is too big because we as humans are bigger. So so much bigger.